The past week has been very emotionally and physically draining on me. I can't and choose not to go into what has happened entirely, but I've been taking very close care of someone close to me. It's been a tough past few days especially. I just feel....like I need to just be around people and converse with them on a deeper level. (Even if that's here on Mibba.)
Sometimes I feel like people just rush through life and never take the time to really savor and cherish people/things. I feel weird lately. Like more than usual. Normally I enjoy my solitude and usually just like to keep to myself. However, here lately, I kind of just really need some more friends in my life. The kind of friends that I can easily keep a conversation going with. I am pretty awkward at times. Not so much online other than my weird sense of morbid humor. Usually I make people laugh, though.
I try to be a nice person. If something bothers me which isn't a huge deal, I just shrug it off and ignore it. If something bothers me a lot and for along time though I might just post about it in a blog. A lot of people know me for my honesty. I am a pretty good listener. I'm creative and passionate about several different things. I like cooking and baking. Listening to music and really getting into the meaning of the lyrics.
I love talking about story ideas and hearing what people have envisioned in their mind for their stories. I just like reading stories even though I'm a bit picky on my interests in them. Usually as long as it involves Avenged Sevenfold, I'm game but I do enjoy the occasional Original Fiction. I like make up a lot. I have tons in my bathroom. I enjoy animals. I have two cats and an amazing little dog whom I all love like children!
I like to take photos and I am a firm believer that even the slightest change of something can have the most positive affect and brighten your mood. Like for instance.....I used to read a lot as a teen. Magazines mostly but I read a few articles that really stuck with me. I once read that if you make subtle changes to your appearance or your living space, it can change and enlighten your whole mood.
I realized it's true because the littlest changes make me so happy. I've tried a wacky color of nail polish and ended up smiling every time I looked at my nails. I like to decorate for the holidays. Halloween and Christmas are my favorite. People at work are always complimenting me on how I always do little things for almost every holiday. Sometimes I'll wear a festive necklace or reindeer antlers around Christmastime.
I buy flowers at the store and place them in decorative pots and put them around our dining room and kitchen. It's nice to have floral accents. I get pretty giddy about buying a new air freshener or Glade plug in scent. Here recently I bought a new table cloth for the dining room table and some little flowers in a pot decoration. It made our drab wooden table look so much more.....inviting. Every time I pass by the kitchen now I see the cloth and smile. The idea kind of stemmed from the new set of dishes my mom gave me before she moved a few weeks ago. I figured why not have the rest of the table match?
My favorite thing is to cook a new and different dish every week that I've never made before or that I have made and love a lot and then take a photo of it. I share a lot of food pics on Facebook actually. I'm really passionate about food. I love developing flavor in my dishes and I like to play with a lot of different spices. I've never been all that great at having talent in my life but the two things I know I can do with confidence is cook well and write decently.
While my cooking may not meet super food critic standards or anything, my family and the people I cook for always end up loving my food. I can always tell when people are being honest and truly love the food, or if they are just being nice. Most people are just really honest and that makes me feel good. It brings a sense of joy and accomplishment to my heart to see people enjoying the taste of my food.
For Mother's Day, I made my mom a big salad, my homemade lasagna and then a tasty butter finger desert. (Thanks to the recipe Jess gave me!) My mom really enjoyed it and even MY FREAKIN DAD LIKED THE LASAGNA! Hell, that compliment was almost as good as if one of the judges that I idolize on Chopped told me they liked it. For years I've sat on the sidelines and watched my dad criticize everything my mom has ever cooked.
He'd always find something silly to say about her food. Never enough salt or it would have been better if she'd done such and such instead. My mom is a great cook! She can cook so many great meals. Needless to say my dad is one of those people who is impossible to please. Throughout my entire life I think he only praised and complimented me on like two things.
But when he said that my lasagna was really really good, I damn near had a conniption! Yeah.....I didn't mean to go off into that but oh well. I've been thinking about maybe starting a food blog on here. Maybe every two weeks I upload a blog including pictures of new dishes I've tried out or meals I've cooked successfully.
I know that some of you could care less about what people eat or have for dinner but food/cooking is something that means a lot to me. Besides, no one says you have to read my blogs if you aren't interested. No pressure or hard feelings if ya aren't at all. :D
Back to my point, I guess I'm kind of one of those girls who just really appreciates the little things in general. You don't have to wow me with some big surprise or action to touch my heart all the time. I'm so odd because there are many sides to me. A lot of people would call me a contradiction because I'll like one thing and really get creative with it, then I'll like something else that kind of clashes with the first thing.
My interests and moods vary A LOT. I'm a bit spastic I guess because my mind races all over the place but there are a few things I really do use all my concentration on and enjoy. I like the simple things. I get joy out of taking a walk in the park. Listening to my Ipod. Taking a nice, long shower. I like looking at picturs on Tumblr. Unexpected hugs from people who care about me. I LOVE writing and day dreaming about my writing.
I love daydreaming and anything about Synyster Gates or Avenged Sevenfold. Kicking back and watching TV with my man. The soft feel of my cat's fur on my hands as I pet them. The sloppy lick kisses my dog gives my ears and face when she's excited to see me. I love watching almost all of the programs on Food Network. Scott Conant is like......a God to me......(And Sexy!)
I love the aroma of coffee beans, cinnamon, vanilla, honeysuckle, floral notes and musky men's cologne. I like the smell of scotch tape, pool and shower liners, dryer sheets and that weird tobacco smell from BLU ecigs! I also do enjoy the smell of skunk from a far lol. As I've stated plenty of times, I'm weird, okay?
Some of my favorite movies are Pretty Woman, The Wedding Singer, 10 Things I Hate About You and Sixteen Candles. I could watch all of those movies a hundred more times and love them! There are lot more movies on my list of favorites, though.
So I dunno....this blog was a bit everywhere. I'm just....really messed up emotionally after everything and I'm trying my best to stay distracted. I feel pretty lonely considering everything and I just.....want to get to know new people. I've let you in on a bit more about myself. I guess take from this what you want.
By the way.........if you look at this picture and even a small smile doesn't come to your face, I think that you just may not have a soul. ;) This picture makes me warm and fuzzy inside!
