Home

No matter how much I love Denver and having so much freedom at my mom's, I miss my home. I miss my room and my cat and my boyfriend. I miss my dad.

I never appreciate him until I'm here and I don't ever see him. He may not like my music or what-not, but he lets me keep it loud anyways. He hates that I'm growing up, but tries to let me explore myself as best as he can. He doesn't just agree to whatever I want; he actually makes me think about the things I think I need.

Sure, I'll miss going out ghost hunting at three in the morning with Tasha, or smoking hookah with 103 and Airy. I'll miss coffee in the mornings or night or whenever I feel like having coffee. I'll miss visiting Marc at the Platte and I'll probably even miss drunk Tony leaning over me. I'll miss all the wonderful people I've grown close to and the memories I've made with them.

But my house is what I miss most. I miss my cat and my own personal space that I can make as messy or as neat as I want it. I mean I don't miss the trivial things about living in a small town with nothing to do and hardly any friends to do nothing with. I don't miss only looking forward to the weekends, and waking up at six in the morning to go to a place that feels like prison.
I'll have everything I need to deal with the next two years until I can make my own home somewhere else. I miss collapsing into Alex's bed and the way he touches me. I don't know if it's just because it's late and I've been away from it for what seems like forever. 19 days isn't a long time. Less than 4 before the next Breathe Carolina concert. I have to save that one in my memory. At least, just in case I can't make it to another concert in the next year. I don't want to think about how busy I'll be trying to keep up with work, Alex, and school.

There's always things to look forward to, though. Being in school is terrible; that, in and of itself, makes me want to cry. The perks of actually having something to do during the day is what I look forward to.

And what's better than getting a brand-new room? Dad's gutting it and completely fixing it before I get home. No more pink and green walls and large furniture and stained carpet. It'll be a nice surprise to come home and see what he's done for me before I start working on it myself. It was so nice to hear that he was excited I called him. It made coming home not seem so bad. Like maybe we'll finally get along this year.

I don't know. I'm excited for the fresh notebooks and new pens and boots.
Notebooks to write whatever I want in and pens to complete everything in. Oh gosh. My room. Alex and my cat...it'll feel so nice to be back home.