And so Everything Changes.

This blog, like most of mine, will probably be all over the place and will cover more than one thing that I want to get out.

Firstly, I want to apologise for my lack of updates or presence on Mibba. I won't lie, I just have no time. I'm struggling so much with everything right now and I never wanted my time on Mibba to feel like a chore, but it does feel like that. Don't get me wrong, I will still find time to update my stories but it won't be my main priority. Getting my childcare work done and having a social life will always come first.

As for my group writes... Just seriously don't ask. I can't be done with the stress of chasing people who shouldn't need chasing. I will be starting a cowrite with an author I'm very good friends with on here. I trust her and she trusts me to update the story or to update each other when something is wrong. I just think I've been scared off group writes now and can't see myself being involved in another.

I just generally feel like I will slowly but surely be leaving this site. I don't feel part of the community because i don't have time to get involved too much. As well as that, I do things but never have anything back. I will make a banner for nothing more than a thank you, but if you promise more in a blog or your request, why not follow through with that?

My stories never seem good enough. I even brought down a rating and tweaked a story to give myself something to aim for- a story featured in the Mibba magazine. Never happened because I'm not a popular writer or because maybe my writing is shit? I don't know and right now I don't care anymore and I think when you stop caring, you need to step back and ask yourself why? And the answer here is because I'm tired. Tired of trying. With my stories and people.

So once I've completed the stories I've started (and my new cowrite) I will either go quietly straight away or I've been contemplating writing one more Avenged sevenfold story. I feel that band helped me develop into a better writer and I want to give the band one more go before finally disappearing.

I don't know if I'll stay away from Mibba. I'll probably keep my account and check back here and now. But I'm getting older, I'm getting very close to moving in with my boyfriend and starting a family. Okay, I'm only 20 but I've been with my boyfriend almost 5 years and we both will have a very good income in the next year. We are at a good place and I know everything will fall into place, as long as I prioritise properly. I can't see Mibba fitting in my top 10 priorities.

Onto more positives; I went to my first festival this weekend just gone. It was the best experience of my life. I saw everyone from Ed Sheeran, Bastille, Example, Kaiser Chiefs, Justin Timberlake and The Killers (both headlined- JT was Saturday and The Killers were Sunday) Sam Smith, Fuse ODG, Nile Rogers, Kodaline, Rudamental, Paolo Nutini and so many more. V Fest really made me realise that I should experience more things like that.

A lot of things change and although I'm like most people and wish time would slow down, I am also looking forward to the next few years because I have a lot of good things going for me.

I need to start living life more and I can't behind a computer screen, stuck between reality and fiction.

I'm still here for now though and I hope to make my lasting time worth while. When I do leave, feel free to ask for my Instagram or email.