TMI Ahead.

I totally get it if you want to stab me after reading this. It's way too TMI but could't write it in my diary coz my boyfriend would read the heck out of it. Ugh.

Do you ever have those times were you feel slightly animalistic and just want to grab the next person you see and own them? I'm struggling right now, honestly.

Usually I deal with this issue by burying myself in an online story and eventually the feeling goes away. Not today. It got worse.

I'll admit, I'm a creature of lust and love, but this is far worse than I've ever had to endure. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way right now, I'm just doing what I'm always doing. Nothing odd has happened to cause these feelings. Ugh, I hate every part of this.

The worst part is knowing I can't actually do anything about it. My daughters home sick today, she can't go up to her grandmothers for the night until my mum gets back from work, and to top it off even when my boyfriend get's home, I will have to sit there and pretend like I'm fine and he will see right thru it and tease me about it.

I hate being a girl, I hate all of this.
I'm loathing myself right now.

The sad thing is, my life doesn't change, so I know exactly what to expect when he comes home. Contrasting skin, white on black soot. Dirty blonde hair, ruffled and slick with sweat. The painfully devious smirk he gives me as he dumps his work clothes on the floor. That fierce growl he emits when he embraces me. I do not need this today.

FUCK BEING A GIRL.
Damn being so in tune with my baser urges.