Updates and Rantables 1/30

There's nothing particular to update.
Except maybe that instead of re-writing Titanium like I was going to do, I created an Originals fanfiction. Which I think I'll just end up deleting because I didn't actually think about the plot before I dove into it. (Which I normally don't think about plots when writing stories, they just kind of come out, but this one is different in that I was thinking about a plot and it's put me in the typical funk that I get after thinking about plots.)

But, if you read the Originals part and thought, wow, that's interesting! I have a separate idea for a different Originals fanfiction that I may or may not post. (Because all I want is Elijah Mikaelson, okay?)

Onward noble finger steeds.
Did I mention that rantables makes me think of lunchables? But that makes me hungry. What have I done to myself?

Anyway;

Did I also forget to mention that I had a boyfriend? Well don't get too excited because he dumped me Wednesday. And then he said I hated him and wanted him dead and was immature because I was standoffish when I told him today that outisde of the rides to school I didn't want anything to do with him.

Look, Mibba, I know that sounds harsh, but I'm gonna give you some insight. This boy and I have had chemistry since senior year. Two years ago. We had a brief thing in December '13 but both of us were in a bad place so it didn't go anywhere. We had an off and on friendship after school ended and then in December '14 it kind of got thrown into a full on thing.

I'm going to be honest with you, Mibba, I'm in love with him. I don't want to be, I never wanted to be in love with him. There's been so much pain there, at times I wish I'd never met him.

I thought things were going to be good now and now they're not. Everything was literally going so well, I was fucking happy, and now I can't hold a smile for more than a few seconds. And it's crazy how well I can charade in public. And of course there's my wonderful, wonderful mother who's first words of the day to me were, "I heard you broke up with your boyfriend, again," with a fucking smirk on her face.

Fuck Mibba, this hurts. I wish I could find a job and a roommate so I could get the fuck out of here. This is not the environment to help me cope with this, and of course it's making him angry at me because I'm not throwing open my arms and saying, "It's okay that you dumped me for what feels like the stupidest fucking reason ever, I'm not mad or anything."

All I want is a very big bottle of alcohol and as many vices I can fit under my bed without creating a bump.