Just Not Quite Right

Fuck me. This morning is just not feeling quite right.

I completely forgot to turn on my alarm last night and I slept really good, which is nice, but I woke up 50 minutes before I had to go to work and I didn't eat breakfast.

Not to mention, I'm feeling emotional because of a weird situation plus my ex hasn't messaged me since Sunday when we broke up, even though be both agreed that we should just be friends. So I'm kind of in my feelings this morning and it does not feel good.

It's been a while since I've been in the office and worked the front desk phone, so I'm a little out of practice and almost gave information to a scammer. I didn't even bother ask what company he was from or what his name was, just gave him the info, even though it was wrong. Haha, nice...

Janet told me not to worry about it, so I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm currently sitting at Kenny's desk to use his computer to do data input. I did that yesterday and I'm supposed to be doing more today, which is fun but also kind of boring just because I'm matching up 3 different information sources. Kind of a pain in the butt.

I broke up with my 5 month boyfriend Sunday because I realized I wasn't feeling the relationship. He's in the national guard and graduated Wednesday. Did the timing feel off? Yes, but I didn't want to move on and still be in the relationship. I was getting attention from Jason, like sexual attention and I was TOTALLY digging it. But I was in a relationship. Even though Joe, my ex boyfriend and I, texted almost everyday and said "I love you", there were days I forgot I was even in a relationship and I just felt like a normal individual. It happened way too often, which I thought was weird.

He's also not really good to talk to over the phone, whether it was texting or calling, which really sucked because those were the only ways we could talk to each other and he wasn't overly fond of video chatting. He still managed to call me every Saturday, which was really nice, and sometimes he'd call me out of blue which was super sweet. It's just...even when we talked there'd be times he didn't know what to say to something I said or just couldn't find anything to talk about and I'm just thinking "what the hell" the whole time. We could talk about fucking ants for all I care, I just wanted to talk to him.

Basically I just wasn't getting enough attention. I get he's busy and tired, but it's not like I'm sitting on my ass all the time doing nothing. I work and got to school part-time and I still made plenty of time for him and put in a lot of emotion and energy just in the fact that I missed him so much I really wanted to talk to him. His last week in Fort Gordon, he had no PT or class, plenty of free time and it was the same as any other day. He hardly texted me unless it was the usual afternoon times and it was again, really common for 30 minutes to an hour going by before I got a response.

Anyway, so I talked to him Sunday and he said he was interested in exploring his options and being independent when he gets home, so we were both in agreeance regarding our relationship status and agreed to just be friends, so why hasn't he texted me back?