Losing My Mom

I've gone through a lot this weekend and things have gotten worse for her. Yesterday she started to decline quickly and our conversations were about comfort care and funeral arrangements. Last night her blood pressure dropped dramatically and we were told an hour or a day. I don't even know how I'm going to survive without my momma who is my best friend. I have so many fun memories of her and could tell her anything. The last three years I've been with her constantly and now I am faced with the difficult task of telling her goodbye. I'm not ready to lose my momma because I still need her there to give me advice and just to talk to. I know that she won't be in pain anymore and will finally be able to say she defeated cancer but I wish she had been cured instead of winning this way. I'm not ready to say goodbye but we never are when we lose a loved one. The family has been called in and I'm getting ready to head to the hospital this morning to sit by her bedside and tell her how much I love her. I'm barely holding it together and know that if I could I would take her place. I've never felt pain like this before and feel like someone is ripping my heart from my chest. I just keep asking why her. She is so loving and cares about everyone. To know her was to love her and so many people have come to see us during this difficult time. She will never be forgotten and I don't know how I will recover from this pain but I know that I will always have an empty place inside of my heart when she goes.