My heart is heavy as I write this. I got the phone call from your father last night in tears trying to locate you. I stayed up all night searching videos, photos, calling friends, talking to the police assistance on the phone. I helped your father book a flight out there at 5 am. I helped your mother pack his things. I'm shaking as I write more and more about this. You went out there for your birthday. It was a huge gift a whole group of us. (your mom, dad, Sammy, and I) got for you for your birthday. A Rental car, a hotel and tickets to a concert you were talking about since the artists were released. You went with Krystal your childhood best friend. You were so fucking excited in your snapchat story. (Thank god for iOS11's screen recorder, because now I at least have your last moments to cherish forever) You were so happy and full of life.
You and your best friend were having so much fun. You were supposed to be coming home on the 4th so we could celebrate my birthday on the 6th. I can't believe you're gone. I Can't believe I wont get to see you again. Hold you. Tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life.
You read about this kind of stuff on the news but when it happens and it affects someone you've known literally your whole life, it's hard. It's so hard to say goodbye like this. Vanessa was only three years older than I was. Our families have been friends since our mothers were in elementary school (Primary school).
When I called the 1-866 number and gave them her birthday and her social security number and they told me, that she was one of the 58+ who didn't make it. I broke down and my first thought was. "how am I going to tell her mother?" "How am I gonna tell her father?" "How am I going to tell her Son?" "How am I gonna tell her students?" "how am I going to explain to them, she was pregnant?"
All these things have hit me at once. How am I going to be okay?
Why the fuck out of 22,000 people did she have to be one of the 650 that were injured? Why was it her time? She was only 24 soon to be 25. She didn't deserve to die, she was a volunteer. She was a mother. She rescued animals. She helped the elderly. She took her and her dad to Texas to help out when the hurricanes hit. She went out of her way to help others, She was a fucking perfect soul in a world that was so fucking dark and ugly. Why her?
Her best friend Krystal was also shot twice, Once through her left shoulder and once in her leg. Possibly ricochet bullets since there was severe damage outside the muscle but not enough force for a full penetration. Krystal said that she felt it, when they were running trying to hide she felt Vanessa drop as the second round of fire began, and with people pushing they got separated.
I want to know why this happened. Why they did this. I want to know why.
