In Which I Answer 94 Questions About Myself and then Rant at the End

001. What is Your Name? Harper,

002. How old are you? Twenty-four

003. What is the link to your website, blog, or myspace? Maybe later.

General

004. What is your height? Five foot, ten, give or take a fraction.

005. Do you have any siblings? Yes, five of them.

006. What is your eye colour? That depends on the eye and the day, actually. I have heterochromia, so my left eye is blue-grey (generally) and my right eye is green, but sometimes half of it is blue or turquoise. My ID says “dichromatic” because it’s impossible to list one color.

007. What is your hair colour? Dark auburn, I suppose?

008. Do you wear glasses or contacts? No, but I probably should. Fun fact: I am legally blind in my right eye and thus cannot perceive depth.

009. Are you right handed or left handed? I would say pretty firmly right-handed. I’ve tried.

010. Do you have any piercings? Technically my ears are pierced, but I hate earrings. I pierced my nose as a teen, but it got infect and closed.

011. Do you smoke? Nope.

012. Do you swear? Yes.

013. Do you get along with your parents? It’s just been my mom for most of my life, and we get on well. The times we fight are generally my fault, regrettably.

014. Your heritage: I am a mutt. My heritage breaks down to Irish, Scottish, English, Finnish, Norwegian, Swedish, and last I heard, a little bit of Romani gypsy. I’m still learning about this.

015. Your fears: I’m weirdly disturbed by sinkholes and have an inborn distrust of dolls and the little girls who play with them. Other than that, I tend towards the existential fears of ultimate failure and the illusive nature of happiness.

016. Goal you would like to achieve this year: Successfully complete my first year of college, also I would like to go on vacation.

017. Most overused phrase on an instant messenger: On my instant messenger? Probably, “Sorry you haven’t heard from me, I’ve been avoiding human contact.” Or something along those lines.

018. Best Physical Feature: I am not sure. Is that something I choose for myself or is it the feature that attracts the most attention? I’ve been told that I have a nice smile? People like my jaw? I don’t know what you want from me!

019. Your bedtime: I am that desperately old fashion person who would love to be in bed every night at ten o’clock. But alas, I generally stumble into bed between one and two o’clock in the morning.

020. What time do you arise in the morning? “Arise” yes, like the dead. I “arise” around seven.

021. First thoughts waking up? “Didn’t I do this yesterday?”

022. Do you shower daily? No, but I shower often.

This Or That?

023. Bright or dark room? Bright room if it’s natural light. If it’s artificial light I prefer warm lamps.

024. Chocolate or vanilla? I recently polished off a box of cherry cordials, so probably chocolate.

025. Dogs of cats? Both.

026. Pepsi or Coke? Both.

027. McDonalds or Burger King? Neither.

028. Ant or Dec? I don’t know what this means… Antiquated or Decimated? Probably not, but let’s go with antiquated anyway, it sounds less violent.

029. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea? Lipton. I’m not a full-on tea snob, but I’m worse than most Americans, and Lipton and Nestea are not tea.

030. Cappuccino or Coffee? Coffee.

In the last month have you...

031. Drank alcohol? Nope.

032. Gone to a mall? No. I haven’t been to a mall in over two years. Can I get a round of applause?

033. Eaten a box of Oreos? No. In fact, I have never done that.

034. Eaten sushi? It’s been a few years.

035. Been on stage? No.

036. Been dumped? Nope. I have this snappy little trick that goes like this: They can’t dump you if you aren’t dating them.

037. Gone skinny dipping? God no.

038. Stolen Anything? Does drinking a grapefruit seltzer water from the mansion I clean count?

Have you ever...

039. Laughed for no reason? I have laughed for “apparently no reason”, but there is always a reason.

040. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do? What aren’t I supposed to do?

041. Been in love? Perhaps, but it’s complicated and generally painful.

042. Fired a gun? No.

043. Been drunk? Contrary to popular belief; no, I have never been drunk.

044. Been called a Tease? Yes, but in a very platonic way.

045. Been beaten up? No. Should I?

046. Shoplifted? I think I pocketed a piece of saltwater taffy as a kid.

What was the last....

047. Furry thing you touched? My dog, this morning.

048. Thing you've said? “I’m not throwing up”

049. Song you've listened to? “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy. I took my dog out last night and some guys down the alley had it blasting from their car. Now it’s stuck in my head.

050. (Who was the last) person you've spoken to on the phone? My oldest brother.

051. Movie you watched? Hidden Figures

052. Thing you were doing before this? Editing an article.

053. Time you cried? Yesterday.

054. Song you've sang? I don’t really sing, but the last song I was hum/singing was probably “Lazybones” by Paul Robeson.

055. Time you looked at the clock? Just now.

056. Food and drink you've had? Last food was probably a cracker or something last night, and the last drink was coffee, which I am drinking right now.

057. Flavour of gum you've chewed? I don’t chew gum, but over Halloween my family bought two huge bags of Mexican candy for trick-or-treaters. However, weather proved problematic and there were no trick-or-treaters… so for the last few months I have been working my way through suckers with gum in the middle? I have no idea what flavor it is. Are you supposed to swallow it? I’ve been swallowing it.

058. Shoes you've worn? Snow boots.

059. Store you've been in? Local grocery store.

Favourite...

060. Planet? Jupiter.

061. Age you've been so far? Probably seven.

062. Season? Summer.

063. Number? No idea.

064. TV show? I’ve turned my mom on to Mad Men, however my favorite show right now is Taboo.

065. Flower? Sunflowers, Irises, and any flower that blooms green.

Random...

066. How much cash do you have on you? None, I’m still in my pajamas.

067. What's a word that rhymes with 'door'? Bore.

068. What T-Shirt are you wearing? A shirt from Atticus Coffee.

069. What brand of shoes are you wearing? I’m not wearing shoes.

070. What did your last text message say? “How are you?”

071. What were you doing at midnight last night? Drinking coffee and reading We Need To Talk About Kevin for class.

072. What's your current desktop picture? The default image; a overview of several colorful umbrellas.

073. What's a word that you say a lot? “Hmm”

074. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? I don’t know what colors they have…

075. How is the weather right now? Grey and somewhat damp now.

076. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Probably their sex.

077. Are you too shy to ask someone out? That’s a fair assessment.

078. Can you do a headstand (not using a wall)? No, but I feel strongly about developing this skill.

079. Who would you like to see right now? I miss my nephew, actually.

080. How many pillows do you sleep with? 0-1

081. Would you go on a date with someone on online? It’s possible.

082. How do you want to die? Slowly.

083. What do you want to be when you grow up? A graphic designer.

084. What country would you most like to visit? I’m hellbent on going to Scotland, but honestly, I would love to go anywhere.

085. How many CDs do you own? A lot.

086. How many things, in your past, do you regret? Quite a few.

087. Do you think you are attractive? Sometimes, but generally I don’t think about it.

088. Do you believe in yourself? I’m not sure.

089. Do you want to get married? No.

In a boy/girl...

090. Favourite eye colour? I honestly don’t care about that.

091. Favourite hair colour? Again, I don’t care.

092. Short or long hair? This isn’t a consideration for me.

093. Height? Neither is this.

094. Weight? And especially not this. I was just having a conversation about this with my brother. I don’t have a “type”. When I meet someone and for whatever reason I feel a pull towards them, there is no obvious rhyme or reason to it. I’ve been attracted to a male puppeteers twenty years my senior, but he made me coffee and talked about the education system and how much I’d love New York, and his work. I’ve been attracted to a girl four years younger than me who I met while she was twirling around in fairy wings and who gushed about Doctor Who and science. I’ve been attracted to a guy my age with a bright red beard and huge, scared blue eyes and the softest voice I have ever heard. And to nonbinary people who are so smart and strong and silly, and who I am stupidly proud of. I’ve been attracted to people of all races, ages, heights, body types, backgrounds, genders, orientations. So no, I don’t really care about hair or eye color, or the length of their hair, or how tall they are, or how much they weigh.