Its been 2 months. My ban from journals has ended and now Im back. Its good to be able to lean back and type these words into Mibba. To let all of you listen.
2 months is a long time. I was banned at the beginning of October. And its incredible how many things I felt between that time.
SADNESS. HAPPINESS. ANGER. JEALOUSY.REGRETFULNESS. FRUSTRATION. HOPELESSNESS.
Ive lost friends. Ive gained friends. My parents are different. And my love life is amazingly complex, but wonderful. And myself? Well. I believe I have changed too.
Good ways and bad.
Ive become stronger and more willing to go against my parents. No, its not disprespect. Its being able to defend yourself and let your parents know how you feel about specific things. Mom thinks Im a whore. And my dad lost his job. I love my dad. And I hate my mom. Nothing really different with them except that their outbursts of anger are rare but when they do occur, its quite larger.
My friends. Ive been trying to stay in contact with them. And I gained a few good ones that are always entertaining. But its been hard finding where I fit in. Walking in the halls. Is hard. Its hard to know if you should be walking next to her or the other girl. Its even harder when you feel so naked.
And love? Im crushing on this complex guy. Feminine and very mean. NOt even pretty. But hes interesting. He really intrigues me. And I enjoy this. He likes me back. And were getting to know each other better.
Lifes been pretty decent with a few ups and downs. But it gets boring. Routines. Things weve got to memorize. Same old same old. Its like we're meant to do this. No excitement...
But its ohkay. Im glad just to let this all out.
:) ILY MIBBA. MISSED YOU. ROCK ON AND DONT DIE FROM STUPIDITY!
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