Some Things Can't Change...

Well...i think all us humans, or something else, find out the hard way that must things don't change. I was wondering what I should do about it? I mean i have a lot of friends that look up to me to do EVERYTHING for them. Its kind of hard at times because i can't mess up or they'll think.."Well she never makes a mistake if she does then i will!". It really sucks! For real i can't do anything right! i fall to much, get in fights, i have okay grades, i don't have the "greatist" past and i don't sleep OR eat much. At school i have to hide these things...i kind of feel like i'm becoming Fake! I feel like the real "Autumn" is slowly moving away and i'm becoming a person THEY all want me to be. The really bad part is if i try to show my TRUE feelings they'll keep asking me wants wrong! I hide the face i'm sad a lot, i also hide the fact that i'm mad a lot! One of my friends told me this, and for that i can't even show my self. "Autumn i want you to know that without you, i'd KILL MYSELF!!!!" And i hate it! I hate being like this! Even my best friend is in pain, and thats my fault! Ever one seems to be in pain, and it all seems to fall back onto me.....some things Can't or Won't change....