Morning should be illegal.

Seriously, I hate that bitch. My body is threatening mutiny already. Time to put some more shirts in the freezer in preparation for another day of punishing heat…

Summer…every year it happens, and every year I wish I had been born on a continent where it is impossible to go twenty years without once seeing snow; where cold tap water runs at room temperature and stepping outside doesn’t mean running the risk of being blinded by the glare off my own skin.

There is no point to this season, I swear. It’s just a clever ploy on behalf of the water company. And each calendar year, inch by inch, week by week, Summer is taking over. I swear we had three Summers and one suspiciously dry Winter this year. No Spring or Autumn whatsoever. This is not the kind of development I approve of. My inner grumpy old man is quite outraged. He brandishes his walking frame and hurries off to write a letter to the editor. Maybe, if I burn enough fossil fuels, we can speed through this global warming and straight into the next ice age... Now that would be bliss.

...I gotta go shower before I evaporate.