hypocritical? yes, another cancer thing...

For those of you who don't know, I have cancer.
I was just on the "Personal Questions" part of the forum, and I sort of have mixed feelings about one of the threads. It was about a girl, who had cancer, having a relapse. In a way I got a little bit excited when I read it, because now I know that there is someone on here that also has cancer. I feel really guilty about it because cancer is nothing I should ever get excited about, but it gave me a sense of hope. I guess it was because knowing that someone on here knows what it's like to go through cancer. Mibba is basically my home, and before I knew anyone else here had cancer and knew what I was going through, I felt alienated.
I admire this girl. She is someone who has stayed strong and got through her illness, and now knowing that what she thought she beat has come back and still trys to stay strong, completely blows my mind. If it were me, I would probably try and kill myself. People would probably think "It's nothing to kill yourself over," but they don't know the pain, the sorrow, and sickness it brings. They don't know what its like to have cancer, until they actually have it.
I'm lost for words right now, so I'll write more maybe later...
February 15th, 2008 at 05:09am