Today isn't going to suck.

My boyfriend started going to this thing a while ago... it's not exactly a self-help group, and not exactly a psychology course. I always dissed it because the people there seemed too freakishly happy, although when you think about it, people being happy shouldn't really be disturbing. But however much I dissed it, everyone there still seemed to be doing better in life than me. And so last night I decided to go along and give it ago... and try my very best not to be rude or abuse anyone in the process.

And what do you know? I got something out of it. I feel motivated, though I'm not sure whether that was just from the propaganda or because their theory genuinely works. I've been living my whole waiting for my goals to happen to me, and trying the same methods over and over again and expecting a different result instead of the same old failure. And I've been beating myself up for it. I never thought I could be happy in my future, or even in the present, because I was so afraid that my past would keep recurring.

So today there are no more excuses. Today is going to be a good day. I'm going to resume my diet and go for a run, dig up the garden and bath the cat. But most of all, I'm not going to let my day fizzle up between the things I have to do. Today, instead of focusing on what I need to do, I'm going to focus on who I am in doing it (sounds lame, I know), and I'll see if I'm not happier by the end of it.