Whirlpooling Torando Of Emotions. AKA Myself.

Uhm, I had a really bad weekend, and I feel very childish and angsty right now, so please bear with me. I don't even know why I'm upset, but I am. Let the rambling ensue.

So, to give you a bit of background. I just came back into contact with my father, like late last year. I hadn't seen him in like 5 years. We're still a bit awkward together, and right now I feel like I wish I would've never seen him again.

I just went over there yesterday, to spend the night, and visit my Grandma, who broke her leg. I had met my dad's girlfriend a few weeks ago, so he wanted to go to dinner so I could meet her kids. She has a 22 year old (she was really young when she had him) and a ten year old girl. Me, him, her, the daughter, the son, and the son's girlfriend all went to dinner. it was ok, but a bit weird ya know? Then, he drags me bowling with her and Katie. She was kindabitchy tired and complain-y. Then, after 3 hours of smelly borrowed shoes and awkward silences, we go home. And he says, 'Yeah, we're getting really serious, like talking about wedding plans for the next year or so. We figure that you, Katie, her son, and her son's girlfriend, if they're still together, could be the witness'. We'd have a picnic, and show up, so every would be there, like Hey, Yay, we're married! Suprise!' And I'm like all smiles and nods and 'that's cool's, but inside I'm screaming, and stabbing myself in the neck. They've only been dating for like a 2 or 3 months. I don't want another situation like my mom. All I know about this chick, is that she used to be Brett Michaels roadie (from Poison, right?) and has a tattoo on her wrist, and back. ((And a Brett one on her hip.Whore.)) I just... I don't know what my deal is. Like, I'm so pissed and I want to cry, and I'm never like this. I just, it's like he's replacing me, you know? I don't know anything anymore. So, if anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it.

I'm sorry I rambled, whined, bitched, and complained at you guys, I'm just really confused and upset. Thanks for reading.

xox Ariel