Pain

Sometimes life is a real struggle for no apparent reason and now is one of those moments. I have a bizarre feeling of self-hatred that I can't pinpoint down to anything in particular. I just feel "in the wrong" and like a person without merit and I really despise feeling this way for no good reason... Now, If I'd gone out and done something evil, I'd understand... but no. Nothing overt and tangible, just a feeling of "wrongness".

I'm in the wrong.

I know it.

I want to get out.

But I won't because my family needs me and besides......... I promised I would keep going regardless of how bad I feel. I promised and if nothing else, I'll keep that promise to the time I naturally die.

"... and in my sorry way I love you"