????

k i have a serious dilema/situation.

my parents want me to go in to the eating disorders unit. tomorrow.
i really dont want to. i know they wont let me out til im obese. i will miss my exams that i have worked so hard for over the last two years. il have to re-take next year. its such a horrible thought.

but then i see them. . . my mum, dad and sister, who are suffering so much just trying to get me to eat like a normal person. it hurts them. and i end up resenting them for making me eat, because if i choose to eat, i hate myself.

but i say il change, but while im at home its actually really hard. i dont want to admit it but im tired, all i want to do is sleep, love and be loved.

i can stay at home and get to 7 and a alf stone or go in and be forced up to 8 and a half. its just if i can force myself at home.

arggg!
i dont know what to do im torn.
i need someone to talk to =[

and my granmpy is ill, but hopefully getting better.

happy sunday everyone!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo