there's no turning back.

so yesterday was the day i signed up at mibba :)
and for those who welcomed me, i appreciate it.
thank you.
it's um. 6.31 a.m, thursday.
i woke up at 4.30 a.m, and watched football.
AND THAT REMINDS ME.
jasmeen, i'm sorry. there were no electric current, so.
yeah. sorry.
so i'm gonna write about w/e is on my mind.
okay.

so i was just wondering about the world.
about, how. time runs so fast, we don't even realize what we'd missed.
or what we're going to face.
and when you stop thinking about everything but the world and your life,
you'll realize that this is all just too fast.
and it's really upsetting that we can't turn back time.
it's frustrating to know that the clock's not going to go off.
i mean, i would give anything for a second chance, you know.
to go back, and just be young again.
my childhood times were a lot better than my life right now.
you know, last week.
my mom's friend told me,
"you're gonna love it when you're older, to have the freedom".
and, i don't see any good in that.
no offense, "my mom's friend".
to me, i would love to go a few years back,
where me and my family travelled together to hong kong,
australia, new zealand, saudi arabia, china etc.
and now, it's just. idk.
first. my sister, is in newcastle, uk. studying.
and i miss her so much. we used to do crazy stuffs like,
"the first person who eats the raw eggs is the winner!" etc etc.
lmao and we always go to places together back when we're young.
i miss that old times, you know.
but now, she's growing older and older.
it's been months i haven't talked to her.

so.
on 25th november 2007, i travelled alone to london.
and met up with my mom (she was from italy) at london heathrow.
we stayed at, bayswater. so i called my sister to let her know.
she was screaming and screaming and she cried. 'cause she was so happy.
so i thought this was going to be, one. incredible journey.
because i haven't seen my sister since september, so.
yeah, i thought it would be what i'd imagined.
so the next day, before we went to newcastle to meet my sister,
we went to emirates stadium, 'cause i have this huge crush on arsenal :) lol.
and i spent all of my money at the armoury (the club's store)
and a few hours later we went to newcastle, BY CAR.
it was nuts. i mean, 5 hours drive? really exhausting.
okay wtf so. then.
w/e w/e w/e w/e we arrived in newcastle.
and met up with my sister at her hostel (i think it's a hostel :|)
and we were hugging and stuff. and we talked.
but later, it was just. that.
she was really busy, a lot of homework. and exams coming in her way.
so, she was kinda, pressured? idk the word to describe it.
but we hardly talked.
and it's just weird because we used to hang out together 24/7.
so yeah, well.
we're all growing up, right?
like i said, time runs fast.
but i'm certainly not mad at my sister, i'm not.
i'm just. i'm upset that we can't be like we used to be, when we're young.

so,
i guess that's probably it. that's what i feel right now.
i wrote every single thing that's on my mind.

best wishes,
sha.