American Idol, finale.

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED IT YET, DO NOT READ THIS. IT SAYS THE WINNER AT THE END.

Ryan intro's with spirit, so everyone remembers he still can host better than the boxing announcer last night.

97.5 million votes. We smash voting records like DCook smashes guitars.

Oooh, they were smart and brought back the SYTYCD crew for the opening number con top 12.
FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! COMMERCIAL!

-commercial- So Ryan was talking about one David got 60-something million votes, and the other got 40-something million? Or did I hear that wrong? Cause I thought it would be closer than that. Idk.

Davids duet on 'Hero' by Nickelback.

Lmao Ryan tries to introduce a movie plug- Cook plays along and Archie just GIGGLES. DC's favorite scene from the movie was a bar fight-- "Kinda brings me back to what I was doin before the show." XD I'm sure it does, Cook.
They go visit the 'guru' in person and he tells DC to shave. And Archie that he will soon begin to get hair in strange places. The poor kid genuinely looks like he doesn't know what the guy is talking about.

RYAN. STOP. LOL. He was trying to ride the magic carpet thing and nearly fell off the stage.

Syesha comes out to sing.
...WITH SEAL? Oh, win.

-commercial-

CASTRO.

Ford comm is Ford commm bloopers. Yes.

They give the final two Escape Hybrids. Ryan steals my joke by asking if Archie has his driver's license.

Girls sing Donna Summer?
Wow, Amanda sounded terrible in her solo.

Donna Summer appears in person... and brings psychedelic lights.

-commercial-

Ryan says shock departures have been a staple of this show. [Plz be hinting to later tonight, yes?]
Mike Johns and Carly, this season's shockers, come out to sing.

Someone WILL trip on that gigantic backdrop of a staircase before the night's over if they know how to manufacture good TV.

Ugh, I've missed CS so much.

Jimmy Kimmel comes out to recap the season.
BAH- starts it out with a Sanjaya joke. Solid.

Top 6 guys perform.
Bryan Adams comes out to remind us just how good the half dozen people around him are when they sing live.

-commercial- I really want to see Wall-E -- haters go watch Archie sing 'With You'. :D

The American Idol Experience is coming to Disney world. Because the show really needs more $$.

DCook sings. Paula's set to clap mode.
He's so comfortable and in his element up there with a band.
OMG LOL. DON'T DANCE DCOOK BB-- PLZ. XDDD

Brooke performs. Singing 'Teach Your Children', if I heard correctly.

-commercial- O.O DAVID FRIGGIN COOK JUST DID AN AD FOR GUITAR HERO? IN HIS UNDERWEAR?? XD Hear that? That was the sound of fangirls dying. Everywhere.

...Jonas Bros.

Montage of the crazy auditions.

"You are my brother, my best friend forever" guy is live to sing.
With... cheerleaders? And a marching band. It took them nearly half the song to march down the mile-long aisles of the Nokia. Then cram onto the stage. Then get cut off in favor of a commercial in the middle of the glory note.

-commercial-

ONE REPUBLIC NAO. <333

Aww, JSparks performs.

-commercial-

Gladys Knight. Midnight Train To Georgia. Jack Black. Not Idol.
Jack Black, following in the footsteps of DC, loses his pants while singing.

Carrie Underwood performs.

-commercial-

Speaking of commercials: The one with DC playing guitar in his underwear? <3

Aaaand then there's a nearly identical guitar hero commercial-- with Archie. Not working the same. >.<

Back.
Top 12 perform, with the girls starting out. Then the guys come out in suits singing Father Figure. DC sounds sooo good-- and for some reason it's weird to me to think that it took this show until the finale to slap some guyliner on him.

George Michael performs. Ten bucks and a pair of free shades to whoever runs up and snatches those sunglasses from his face then runs away like Jack Sparrow from Pirates.

OMG. Results after the break. Ugghhh.

-commercial-

Randy says they're both winners.
Paula's babbling. Nearly in tears already.
Simon APOLOGIZES to DCook for last night. :O

RESULTS:

Your American Idol is ...
DAVID COOOOOOOOOK.

dlkfgjlskjslkdjfslfjsk
he's crying already i can't staaand this. <3333

AMERICA YOU HAVE RESTORED MY FAITH IN YOUR INTELLIGENCE.

He sounds amazing, of course.
Omg ANDREW COOK bawling, then: "that's my brother!!"