I use to have this friend right. I met her on the Internet around the start of last year, we talked on the website for a few days until we started speaking on instant messaging. I introduced her to a few friends and then we became quite close, I started to fall for her.. While she fell for one of my best friend's, I let it go. Because my friend was straight and there really wasn't much that she could do.
Finally after a few months, we met in person. She only lived a short train ride away, and I took along a friend just to be safe. After that we started to hang out quite regularly.. And she slowly got over my friend and she apparently fell for me, she asked me out and we started dating.
I knew that was one of the worst mistake's I had ever made, we should have just stayed friend's I would have gotten over her and everything would've been fine. But no, I just couldn't help myself. She stayed over every now and then.
After dating for a few weeks she went away on a family holiday, and while she was away. We broke up, it was devastating, but I moved on and so did she.
I went back to thinking that everything would just be exactly like it was before, back when we were like best friends.. But she didn't, she became distant and barely spoke to me. We still hung out, but she treated me differently and it started to hurt.
And after a few months we just stopped talking to each other, the last time I would have spoken to her would've been last year in December, we had a friendship that lasted almost a year.
But what I would give to still be friend's with her would amaze you. I made a terrible mistake earlier this year, by over reacting to a comment one of her friends had made, and insulted her behind her back, things that I regret immensely. I never meant any of it, and I wish I could take it all back.
I got scared that he had told her so I deleted them both from My Space, to try and completely erase them from my life. But I didn't want that.
I know where to go to find her My Space page, and I know where to go to find her on the website of which we met. And I want to message her, I want to tell her that I miss her friendship, I miss having that person that I can talk to. I just miss her.
But I wouldn't have the faintest idea what to say, where to start.
If only she read this and realized it was her, and maybe she would say "Hey, it's okay, lets just start over..."
But that will never happen, and maybe another five months will pass and I might just forget about her. I don't want too, I miss her.
I wish I just knew what to tell her.
I wish I had someone to help me with what to do.
Drackie.<
I miss you, what else can I tell you?
June 4th, 2008 at 04:10pm