I'm going crazy. Officially.

I haven't got the slightest clue who I am any more.
I have a new personality every half hour.
Last night I hallucinated that there was someone hovering above my bed, beating me. Always beating. She screams at me, she hits me.
-YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH! YOU STUPID, STUPID UGLY BITCH!
-I can't be that awful, right?
-YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

When I realized what was going on, I was in a fetal position in bed, crying and whimpering like a baby.
"Please stop. Please stop. Please go away."

She will never go away. She is me, always with me. She is me, only better. Everything I do, she does better. I get an A, she gets an A+. I loose a pound, she looses 10.
She is a monster, attached to me.

I drew a heart on my arm today.
-You think you're cute? You think you're special?
-No, I just....
-Wipe it off, you fat piece of shit.

I need some relief. Lexapro makes me sick. Zoloft does nothing.
I can't do this by myself. With or without meds, I feel this way.
I don't know what else to do.