Cost Of Comfort

It's one of those weird days for me. I can't pinpoint my emotions, and I cry randomly. And this is when I thank blog for waterproof/ mosh pit proof make up.

I recently lost a friend. No, she didn't die. But she did break my trust, for the third time, and made my best friend cry. You know. I really miss her. I miss the way she could reply quickly to text messages, but what she did, is unforgivable.

The one thing I look for in people, is trust. When they break my trust, I lose them.

So what now?

Turns out the only person I can trust, is myself. Figures, after getting hurt too many times, I should have known.

I've been used, and abused by people, who I trusted. It's retarded. I'm retarded for thinking I could trust someone, when they'll just hurt me and leave me for dead [not literally].

Leave me to pick up the pieces of my life. Start a dangerous addiction, also known as cutting, but that's a different chapter of my life.

I don't know anymore. My emotions are wild. I used to be good at holding them in, pretending they don't exist, but lately they are usually strong.

Too strong to the point where I am in pain. Where my body won't let tears come out because dehydration. Where I shake so violently, I think I'm going to throw up. And yet, my cries are silent.

I think it might be called a breakdown, mental breakdown. Emotional breakdown. Phyiscal breakdown. It doesn't matter. I'm breaking down. Not right now. But I know, soon.

Oh and another thing.
WEATHER!! It snowed two days ago. AND IT'S JUNE. I swear to mother fucking blog, only in Washington state, it'll snow.

I hate hot weather for couple reason, but the number one reason IS BUGS. Those nasty little insects that fly around, and yelp in fear.

But I'm sick of cold weather. I'm really for the sun to greet my ugly ass face!

This is the part where I'll rant about how I am unable to get a boyfriend, when in reality, I'm just a lazy mother fucker.

Question of the day!!:

How do you feel about the weather? Bugs? Hate 'em? Love 'em? Tell me!