Self-loathing

Today started out pretty good. Then everything spiraled downwards. I don't even know why. It might have been that i was thinking about my past. The scariest thing about it though was that i had a serious urge to relive. I don't know why. My past sucked and I made a really bad decision and for some reason I want to do it again and maybe get it right. Wow. I am such a sick, masochistic person. No one talk to me. Seriously. I'm not good, just avoid me at all costs. The funny thing is, I said the same thing to my friends earlier this year because I had been thinking about suicide again and I was almost positive I was going to do it. I even had the whole thing planned out. If your reading this and by the time you get to this part and your thinking what the fuck..yea I know what you mean. I'm a twisted person with a fucked up mind. Just avoid me, it's probably better for you.