I hate myself.
How much?
Gee I don't know.
Alot.
I hate being gay, I don't want to be straight. I just don't want to be anything.
I wish I didn't have to worry about girl's. And finding that one special person. Because even if we try not to think about love. We always do.
I hate the fact that what ever I do always effect's other people.
I hate that I can't just go out and do what ever and not expect my girlfriend to get upset.
I love her.
I don't want to leave her.
But I don't want to love anyone.
I wish it wasn't human nature.
Having a girlfriend mean's I can't do what I want anymore.
I can't just go out and do stuff anymore. Unless I know it won't hurt her.
I hate that.
But then when I see her. I know all of the pain I have to go through is worth it. Just to be with her.
Even though I hate it.
I love it even more.
I wish I didn't have to hide who I am from my family.
I wish they didn't look at me with disaproval when I'm with a girl.
It would be so much easier if I didn't love anyone.
If I lived a life with no sexual orentation.
I hate that.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I wish there was something I could do to change the way I lived.
I wish people didn't look at me weirdly when I hold my girlfriend's hand. Or when I kiss her.
I wish.
I just wish, love was love.
And I wouldn't have to care about other people.
I hate love.
I hate that.
I wish I could move out and live somewhere where I didn't have to care about what I did.
And how it effect's everyone else.
That I could live my life the way I want to.
For a change.
That would be nice.
I hate my life.
I hate that.
Life isn't easy for anyone.
I know that.
I wish mine was just a little more simply.
With less thing's to worry about.
I wish.
I wish.
I know hate is a strong word.
But I hate myself.
I hate that.
July 18th, 2008 at 06:59am