Want To Be Alone

Is it so fucking difficult to leave me alone? that's the only thing I ask, the only thing I want: to be left alone. But nooooo, as always they are always there making my life a living hell, making me hate them and making me hate myself even more. I just want to be alone in my room, I want to hide under the covers in my bed, closing my eyes so I don't have to see it. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I want to leave and don't feel this. I feel like I'm a piece of shit, not worth anything who deserves misery and suffering.
I told him that I wanted to be happy and I want to but I don't think I deserve it. He tell me that I do, that I'm a good person, strong, beautiful with all my flaws but I don't believe him. I know he's lying. I really love him but I don't deserve to have someone like him by my side. He should leave me alone.