What Killed You?

I accidently swallowed a box of thumbtacks xD

I made my mom mad.

You got rock poisoning, from licking (surprise!) a rock..

You were thrown off the Empire State building by kitty cats.

You were in a motorcycle accident dressed like Elvis.

You were eaten by starving models.

You slipped on an ice floe, became buried in snow and froze to death.

You thought you could climb a tall tree, but you accidentally fell.

You were on a boat when a huge whale popped out of the ocean and swallowed you whole.

An angry woman mistook you for someone else and shot you in the face with a potato gun, causing massive bleeding from your broken nose and triggering a heart attack which led to your demise.

You got caught ina mob of a bunch of boy band fan girls and they scratched out your eyes with their whore nails

So you see, there was this yellybean that fell from a skyscraper. Considering the hight that thing was going pretty damn fast as it landed. So that hit a light post and jumped into my eye. In my confusion I almost walked into a riding car but that was thrown out of the way by the giant-staypuffed-marshmallow man, who simply ate me.

You were walking on the sidewalk, tripped and fell into the road and got hit by an ice cream truck.

You were driving your rocket when someone accidentally hit the self-destruct button.

You forgot that you already used up nine lives when you decided to cross the street without looking first.

^ Very nice, sticking with my theme.

You were in an argument and died of oxygen deprivation.

You choked on a massive hairball.

You played Juggernaut too loud and your head exploded.

You GIMP'd too hard and you died of carpel tunnel syndrome

^Biiiiitch, don't go there that's entirely possible. Except it'd be Minecraft and Google Drive, not GIMP. xD
You were too cute/emo/hipster/something and you got killed by teenage girls in Nirvana shirts