Okay, so this is the first time in a very long time that i've written a journal!Hope everyone is all good in the writing world, i haven't picked up a pen for ages, or opened that secret little door into my mind and how i'm actually feeling.To be honest, i've been too wrapped up in love, yes LOVE. A disgusting word that tears peoples worlds apart, brings happiness but also snatches it away quicker...

HOW COULD I FORGET, THE ROYAL WEDDING. I am sick to the teeth of hearing about it, and seen as you lot are used to me rambling today i'm not going to bother! It's over-rated, the media coverage is an absolute joke and the whole house that i live in is silent... apart from the lounge where even the workers that are supposed to be WORKING here are sat on their arses watching it!I'm gonna be...

Judgements, what are they? Who has the right to make them without seeing the real picture? And why, why should anyone ever judge?We're human, it's in our nature, and sometimes it's completely uncalled for. So you lose sight of the road for a while, you give up for a bit, forget what the purpose was of being alive; yeah, so what? Everyone has the right to be able to pick themselves back up and...

so, i had to move out of the family home last October and into a complete strangers house, renting a room in the middle of nowhere. could i cope? no, it was pretty much a foster home, nothing i had was my own ! i was always brought up to earn what you have, work for a greater life. but on minimum wage, rent on a house/flat just for me wasn't gonna happen.one day, i gave up on someone trying to...

when you get to giving up point, who picks you back up? mental health services? friends? family?or is it just a joke, does anyone actually help you at all? in my books a joke is exactly what it is, and although i apologise for this depressing journal, it might be the thing that saves me for another day."oh simple thing, where have you gone? i'm getting old and i need something to rely on"keane -...

these past couple of days, i've found myself asking:- "what have i left to lose?" and every time i have, i've lost another person, or something needed just to keep me alive.lost my job, losing my home, lost my parents, (walked past my dad the other say and he didn't even know who i was).wouldn't it be great to be invisible?be some higher power that doesn't have to pay bills, answer to anyone and...

Well hello there fellow mibbians!Hope everyone had a good new year, and what not. Haven't been on for so long, been mowed down with work, endless appointments with doctors and psychologist's and just general shit.When will emotions become level? When will life travel at a steady pace? You ever asked these questions? I'd really like them to be answered! Trying to get my head around the reason why...

Hey guys, well, i'm finally out of hospital!Yesssss :)Been a while since i posted a journal hasn't it? Hope y'all had a good christmas, and all that jazz.Just thought i'd have a quick rant about eminem, i kinda like his new album, think the beats are catchy, BUT...his lyrics are so violent, and seen as i work for a domestic violence organisation it's like i'm going against everything i beleive in!...

it may be christmas, but the excuse that the holidays means you has to be nice isn't credible.as the arctic monkeys song goes - perhaps fuck off might be too kind?there's only so much greif you can take off someone before you blow, and tell them what you really think!i'm going home for christmas, yet for the past three weeks my family haven't even spoken to me! i'm only going home for the sake of...

I know this isn't the most ideal topic to discuss, but i'm in need of some serious advice! Anyone know what's any good for stomach ache that ony women get? If you know what i'm saying.I couldn't resist but to come to the pc and upload some new stuff, but the truth of the matter is i've already got three hot water bottles on the go and i'm in agony. Any ideas?Overnight leave didn't go too well last...

Anyone ever seen Christmas With The Kranks? Well, i'm doing what they attempted to do this year, SKIPPING CHRISTMAS.You can't get away from it, stupids songs on the radio, sparkly stuff everywhere you look, it's just daft. Do i sound like a bit of a humbug?Anyway, so i'm on overnight leave at home tonight, and they're trusting me not to go out and get leathered; what can i do to kill time? If i'm...

hey all,feeling very festive today! the pogues song is the only christmas'y song that isn't too cheery, i love it! think it's one of them that'll always be a fave :)everywhere is look is covered in snow up here in thy north! lol, it's pretty beautiful if i'm honest, had some mean snowball fights and snow angel competitions; big kid much?anyother philosophical journal has pelted it's way onto your...

hello folks! thought a random topic, for a random thursday night would be very fitting!and seen as i'm listening to disney songs over and over, from nearly every one ever made, thought the topic is quite fitting!isn't it crazy how disney films suddenly switch you back to your childhood, just a small, imaginative child without a care in the world; believing there is always a happy ending? i wish i...

Another day, another journal.how many times in life do we say we miss something or someone? daily? weekly? - just think how many times that is in a lifetime. if i wasted this time sitting here listing everything that i miss, you'd get extremely bored and probably go and browse somewhere else; and i wouldn't blame you.Sat here, i thought about the people that i miss, and then thought: do they...

Hello again guys, aother pointless journal for you's.Weekend has been so eventful and stressful on the ward, everyone tried to leave on saturday night by setting off the fire alarm; not a good idea.Everyone's given up on me now, and don't want anything to do with me... what a great way to start the christmas period - on my own.Fair give up to be honest, seen as everyone else has, and my section...

Listen to this while you read it if you really wanna... ;)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfPt-kMp7rIi don't know what's come over me today, but i'm in a really rude mood! not in the disrespectful kind of rude, the naughty kind of rude! ;)really don't know where it's come from! haha, hope everyone's all good.think it's the starvation i'm getting from being in here, not good.saturday night folks,...

i don't quite know where this journal is going, all i know is that everyone who said i was a horrible person, that i expect too much, that i walk around life expecting people to just do things for me:- they were all right.who's to say that someone is worthy of being here, alive? i read my last journal back and this is completely contradictory, however, i struggle to practice what i preach and...

In The Arms Of The Angels by Sarah McLachlan, beautiful song."Spend all your time waitingFor that second chanceFor a break that would make it okayThere’s always one reasonTo feel not good enoughAnd it’s hard at the end of the dayI need some distractionOh beautiful releaseMemory seeps from my veinsLet me be emptyAnd weightless and maybeI’ll find some peace tonight"makes you think doesn't...

it's been nearly two months since my mum passed away now, and i still can't get my head around the fact that she's no longer here. i miss her so much!the story about my mum and stuff goes in Reveal magazine next week, not quite sure i'm ready for it.it was all over the national papers, local ones too, and broke our families hearts to see press at the funeral.it's a real struggle.who'd want...

Didn't go to plan that well! Haha, decided today to plot my escape from this crazy place, my friends came to see me, the three best people in my life at the moment, they even brought KFC!come onnn, that has to make them winners right?i was gunna run away, back to the town i belong in, back to the people i am supposed to be around in daily life and back to the bed that is missing my body in it, and...