Blasphemy - Comments

Ow, made me cry - what is so special about being 14 that so many bad things happen to people who are - 30 years ago for me, but still like today, not yesterday :(

Absolutely spectacular expression, I agree with so many of the previous comments and I know not your reality but you touched mine and so many others - talent indeed.

:cheese:

I can tell that has a lot of meaning, behind the words. Oh, and, I love the title.

that was amazing! i love how it sort of told a story and kind of had something hidden behind it..it was beautiful.

Much better ;)
If you were to read that aloud and pause before that comma, it'd have...a stronger effect. So that's why I reccomended it =]

Wow.
I'm usually not a huge fan of poetry without rhyme, but I think this poem has just changed my mind.
A-MAZ-ING.
There are so many ways a person could interpret this... metaphorically AND literally... and then even a little of both. It leaves me wondering if I'll ever figure out exactly what it was you were thinking when you wrote this, and I mean that in an EXTREMELY good way.

I edited a lot of the punctuation. Better now?

This was gorgeous, Tas. The simplicty of it all is what made it so complex, so hard and so easy to understand at the same time. The direct effect of the "Goddamn you", was strong and powerful with emotion.

I liked the word repetition - you pulled it off nicely. I did, find a few errors with punctuation-

[i]Down down
[/i]

That would flow much nicer if a comma seperated the words. It's strange, but it helps in the end.

[i]Soul and body snatched.[/i]

That was my favorite line out of the whole thing.
The slight prayer in between the lines was beautiful, too.
The only criticism that I have is the punctuation. Meaning, the periods stop the flow. Commas, semi-colons, and hyphens all help along with the periods.
The end, the repetition, the confession, it's really hard to end a poem. It is - but this ending was amazing. This poem has the effect that makes me think hard for awhile, think I get it, and then I start thinking hard again.

Spectacular all the same.

This felt like it was straight from the heart.
Your fluidity in writing made me feel it.
The prayer was so... oh.
:hug:
ILY Tas.

Wow...that was freaking amazing. Really. I've never read anything quite like it before here on mibba.... I especially loved this part.

Our Father
Who art in Heaven.
Hallowed be thy name.
Stolen be thy frame.

this poem was just so beautiful and...idk how to describe it. It was packed with feeling and everything went hand in hand. very very great job. awesome!!!

[quote="Kiss.Me.Goodbye"]
This poem seems very emotional, almost like it has a hidden meaning or emotion that only the writer can truly connect with. [/quote]
^^ I agree with Kiss.Me.Goodbye.

Its a very powerful, beautiful and emotional poem. You have such ways with words Tas.

The ending was just, it wasn't like the person was giving up, just more like they were ready to face what they knew was to become of them.

Great poem :D

Thank you.

This poem seems very emotional, almost like it has a hidden meaning or emotion that only the writer can truly connect with. But it is a powerful poem..I don't really know how to explain how I can connect with it.

I really liked the first part.
[i]It was 14 years she walked this earth
when the ground beneath her feet crumbled.
Tumbling...
She fell.
Down down
Soul and body snatched.[/i]
Because it reminds me of something that happened when I was 14, and that was how I felt..like I was falling and everything had been taken from me.

It's good.