Glitter suicide

Your violent gasps wake me up
From my sinking glitter splendor
I’d lost myself for an hour, a day, a week
But you brought me back
All with a touch
Woke me up to what I was doing
My dirty sin, my shameful deeds
My lips feeling swollen and bruised
My skin feeling sticky and crusty
My arms and legs aching like hellfire
My head exploding at the merest sound
And my mouth
Tasting of vodka, vomit, and vanity
I just knew I’d been drunk
Been high
Been wicked
But, you loved me
For it, around it, excluding it
I was never sure
Whether you loved my danger
Or the prospect of taming me
All I knew is that you were my gasoline
And like a moth to flame, I flew to you
Your scarlet beauty, your pure innocence
Your secret leather-and-blood passions
I kissed you, I cut you, I drank you
But you let me, you loved it
So why stop now?
Why not just let me bleed out a little more?
Why not just press this blade down harder
Watch the blood ooze out around the cold steel
Watch me groan in ecstasy
Watch me slowly lose myself in the perfect sensation
Watch me bleed out on your floor
Watch me redeem myself of my sins, scour my soul clean
Watch me die