The Scars on My Heart

I steadily pressed the blade to my skin and I felt a release of the pressure within me
As I thought, "Maybe, just maybe I don't have to hold in and drown in the screams."
There could be a way out, an escape from the pain.
And thanks to this feeling I'm definitely going to do this again
Until it becomes habit the cold, steel edge to my skin.
Now look, my wrists, my arms marred by scratches.
I've got equal scars on my heart, see how it matches?
Because the unintentional beating and rejection I've suffered from you
Has left me lifeless and damaged. Broken, black and blue.
When I see you with her I'm devastated inside.
Her skin on your skin makes me want to run and hide
Away from this feeling, away from it all.
I'd swear you built me up just to see the wreckage after the fall.
So why don't you go ahead and twist that knife just one last time?
Stop this miserable thudding in my chest and end this non-life of mine.
Because that's exactly what you do to me when you smile
So I'll hope and pray to God that she's only for a while.
I was a fool for thinking I was so close to calling you mine.
Now I feel lied to and betrayed, but I'll swear that I'm fine
Because I wouldn't dare let you see me this way, crushed and in pieces
Over you, of all people, the only one that I needed.