What have I Done?!

Crimson regret grows
As the razor slides across my wrists
I've hurt to many people, and hurt to many times
I know I deserve this.
Tears streaked across my face
As I begin to lose feeling
But not the pain of being a disgrace.
Consider this goodbye
Life hurt too much
I couldn't take it anymore
I'd had enough
Goodbye to my friends and family
I'm sorry
But I think you're better off without me.
My vision eventually goes black
I find a strange yet familiar hollowness
As my soul starts slipping through the cracks
Alone with my thoughts and doubts
Facing memories
And the problems I can finally figure out.
Where have the good days gone?
Has my time stopped?
Why can't I tell right from wrong?
What is this darkness inside?
Is it taking over me?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
Why is my soul so incomplete?
What is this hollowness?
When did my heart become so weak?
When did my life become so frail?
What where had my strength gone?
Why did my will power fail?
But should I fight back?
Should I hold on?
Or should I let my soul fall into the black?
Has my mind gone amiss?
Does my heart still beat?
Am I trapped in this dark abyss?
Is there something worth fighting for?
Should I keep searching?
There must be something more!
Suddenly the memories came flooding back
Being with my friends and family,
They showed me the meaning of,
"Live, Love, and Laugh."
How could I forget,
These precious memories
Or what they meant,
especially what they meant to me!
They were always there for me
How could I hurt them?
I loved them unconditionally.
And I still have to find my purpose
My friends still need me
I have to survive this!
This will not be my fate!
I will find a way!
I will keep fighting, its not too late!
My eyes will open and see tomorrow!
I now see why life is so precious
I'll learn to live with my sorrow!
Suicide isn't the only way out!
I'll find another way!
I think I have figured, what life is really about!
I can keep my heart beating!
I can survive this!
I will keep on breathing!
I'll make my own path in this world!
I'll prove the world wrong!
I don't care what they say,
Because I'll stand strong!
I was wrong to give up my life,
The world suffer already,
And I would be a needless sacrifice!
In a moment,
I was awake, as if this was a nightmare,
And I had just awakened from it!
I stared into the bright light,
that hung above my head,
I was alive,
Sitting there in a hospital bed!
I looked to my right
I saw my friends and family,
I almost gave all of them up,
And that was just plain stupid of me!
Then I saw the scars on my wrists,
They started to bleed again,
As I balled my hands into fists.
Suddenly tears fell from my eyes,
I now knew they loved me,
And they're the reason I'm alive!