My Darkest Thoughts

when i think about life,
i think about how to escape it...
how to end this misery
how to end this curse...
i think about all the reasons that makes life worth living...
and you know what i think about...
neither do i.
so what does make life worth living?
love?
friendship?
family?
well sometimes i wonder if thats enough
call me selfish if you must
but i'm simply voicing my opinions.
this is how i think..
i think about everyone else
and how they can cope with the troubles life brings,
and i wonder how they do it,
how they survive
if you dont think like this,
then good for you.
i envy you,
you don't know how lucky you are.
but if you are like me
and you think about the escape
called 'Death'
listen to what i have to say,
the reason why i'm still living,
is because i still have an ounce of hope,
for happiness,
and because i want to see my future
i can not bear to imagine
what my death would do to people
maybe they wouldn't care
but i think they would
so i keep on living
and you should too
but i just wanted to tell you and show you
how my mind works
and so here i will stay,
until i die
but my fate will choose when i die
not me.
always here,
M