I Just Wish

I wish I could stand to look at you.
I wish I could stand to speak your name, call you as your rightful title.
I wish I could have been held at night when I was scared,and that it was you that checked for monsters under my bed.
I wish I could hug you without feeling awkward and disgusted.
I wish I could stand to say 'I love you' the few times you call and we speak.
I wish I didn't despise you so much.
I wish I could say and write all of these things without choking back tears.
I wish I could just be able to say I hate you, but I also want to say I love you.

I wish I wasn't so much like you.
I wish................that I wasn't apart of you.