I Still Remember

I remember the pain.
It left me breathless,
Desperate for relief.

I remember the tears.
They never seemed to stop,
Like a fountain within me.

I remember the confusion.
I couldn’t – no, can’t – understand
Why you would leave me.

I remember the screaming.
I would scream at myself,
Demanding to know what I had said.

I remember my heart breaking.
It broke for you, for our friendship,
For my love for you and your hate for me.

Then, I remember breathing.
I let it go, let you go,
Let everything go.

I remember acknowledging I’m not you.
I’m nothing like you,
I’m your opposite.

I remember looking back.
Where you failed me time and time again,
But I was too blinded by loyalty.

And now, I’m just waiting.
I’m waiting for you to realize what I was for you.
A best friend, a confidant, a shoulder,
____________________________________Your only.

And when you do,
I’ll just tell you I love you.
But I can’t – won’t – trust you.

If I start to waver, I’ll just remember the pain.
And how it left me breathless,
Desperate for relief.