What Have I Done To Deserve This In My Life?

I went almost a whole year strong,
But then I messed up & everything went wrong.
I should have calmed myself down & just took a breath.
I ended up slicing the flesh once more instead.

Now look at my arm; look at what I’ve done.
I’ve ruined everything; I’m no longer able to say, “I won.”

I had it all packed up in neat labeled boxes on the shelves,
But then I let the words in & I got to myself.
I was supposed to be the one who taught & not learned.
I ended up being the one who got burned.

Look at my arm, now; look at my mistake.
Everything I had is ruined; I drowned in my own lake.

He was supposed to be right,
But then I through a fit & lost the fight.
I was wrong & he was supposed to be the truth!
What is wrong with me that I ended up so loose?

My arm…Look at it, now; What have I done this time?
What have I done to deserve this in my life?

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
I was supposed to smile & proudly teach.
But look at me now, I am beaten & torn.
I am bleeding, lying face down on the floor.

The flesh is no longer intact,
But the girl is still sitting motionless on the track.
I was supposed to be the girl who got first place.
Now, I’m the girl who lost it without even leaving the gate.