Twinz

CONGRATULATIONS MOTHER TERESA, YOU JUST HAD TWINZ
WAIT, YOU’RE TOO FUCKING OLD TO HAVE KIDZ

THIS ONE’S ANGELA, THE OTHER ONE’S CAROL
ONE’S NICE AND DOCILE, THE OTHER’S QUITE FERAL

THEY BOTH LIKE POPCORN AND CANDY AND SHIT
DISS PENGUINS OR STEELERS AND YOU’RE BOUND TO GET HIT

ANGELA STALKS CROSBY, CAROL’S OBSESSED WITH FLEURY
THEY BOTH JUMP THEIR HOCKEY STICKS QUICK AND IN A HURRY

CAROL WANTS SYN GATES, ANGELA WANTS ZACKY V.
THEY SAY THEY DIE OF PEENESS WHEN THEY REALLY GOTTA PEE

“I’M THINKING ARBYS” WHEN THE OWLS ATTACK
THAT WAY THEY’RE ARMED AND READY WITH POPCORN BOWLS FOR HATS

THEY’LL LURE YOU IN WITH PEEPS AND THEN THROW YOU IN THE TRUNK
THEN THEY’LL TAKE YOU TO THE WOODS, IF YOU’RE A HANDSOME HUNK

CAROL’S IN LOVE WITH THEIR HOT SWEDISH FRIEND NAMED ANDY
THEY HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT SWEDISH FISH WAS REALLY ONLY CANDY

ANGELA THINKS THAT LADY GUY-GUY WORKS WITH THE PAPARAZZI
CAROL’S OBSESSED WITH FOREIGN DUDES AND KINDA IS A NAZI

THESE TWO ARE MORE LIKE ONE THAN THEY’RE LIKE EACHOTHER
OR MAYBE MORE LIKE JAKE AND SHANE, THE BOARDIE P3N1S-LOVERS

THEY GO BY MANY NAMES AND MARRY MANY MEN
THEY BOTH HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR LIVES AND HAVE DEATH WHITE SKIN

THIS FUCKING POEM IS A PAGE LONG, THEREFORE THAT MEANS I’M DONE
NOW IM GOING TO TURN INTO A JET AND CRASH INTO THE SUN

LIKE A BOSS.