I Miss You So

I'm so lost; and I'm reaching for something I can't see.
Why do I even try? All this, for nothing. If only,
I understood the stars, could predict the changing tides.
Everything's crashing around me, and I'm useless to stop it.
Hearts in the sky, I watch them disappear over the horizon,
and come around tomorrow, as the clouds return another time.
Wishing I could fly, I close my eyes, and I wish again.
Your presence is immediate, only the sense of sight, absent.
I feel your caress, I smell that familiar scent, I hear your voice,
a whisper, and I taste you as we come together in embrace.
I couldn't ask for anymore; I couldn't be anymore content.
But, then I open my eyes, and I realize that you're not with me.
These diamonds take their place, reflecting a plentiful sorrow.
Wealthy in their purpose, they glitter in the moonlight.
The stone which carries his name, I can barely make out
in the cover of the night. Then, I think of the day; a last kiss,
a kiss so cold, and filled with so many unspoken words.

I remember your face, your eyes closed; a face so serene.
Wishing I could find you, I close my eyes, and I wish once again.
The pain I feel is immediate; I can't stand, and so I collapse.
A soul bleeds out, seeping from all these wounds I inflicted.

As I lay dying, I start to wonder, if this is what you wanted.