Forgive Me Please? (I'm Begging you)

When I get close to you.
About a mile will do.
I'll push you away.
& say things I don't mean.
You'll be hurt, you'll be sore.
You'll leave just like before.

A scab that won't stop bleeding.
Underneath the surface.
Will it ever be the same again.
Will it ever get better.
You tell me it will.
But your eyes say otherwise.

I'll beg for forgiveness.
Get down on my knees.
My eyes will grow wet.
My hands will shake.
As they grab at your clothes.
Even though your not there.

I'll never wish for death.
But I'll long for pain.
A lesson to be taught.
A lesson to be learnt.
But I'll forget soon.
& do it all again.
& then...

& then I'll cry when your gone.