Inside my head

Can I scream out?
I know you’ll hear me
I know you’ll care
I can’t fix myself
I am lost
I want the truth
I need someone to love
I hate being alone
Am I doomed to live alone?
Is there no one for me?
I need someone
Somehow
Is it worth the risk?
I loved before and vowed not again
When I love I am hurt
When I don’t love I am alone
I need some answers
I feel so fake
I don’t think I’m real
Do I have a future?
I hurt so badly
I bottle It up
If it shows they wont accept me
They already don’t
I want a future
Can I just let loose??
I am tired of always running from this
My head asks
I suppress how I feel
I run to something to get away
I am looking but I can’t find it
Now I am not running
But I can’t fix this
I am tired, tired
Too tired to search
Willing to try I am
Willing to love I am not
I am tired of a broken heart
Days, months, years
How long has it been?......
When did I lose my heart?......