And, I was drowning.

I wanted reality and balance
Something that conveyed meaning;
Life, entity, essence.
I wanted Edward.

Slowly I felt I was loosing him
Forgetting his appearance, his features;
That the features of a supernatural, divine creature
Which furnished my only true will to live.

I wish I had become psychotic;
Unbalanced, insane.
Mental at the thought that I had lost him;
A piece of myself.

Instead I became numb.
Paralyzed, unfeeling, senseless.

I knew I was drowning
Waves thrashing around me,
Pulling me down into a never-ending abyss,
To a place where no one could help me.

Until I heard a voice
A voice that sounded as if it was carved by angels
Even angry, shouting with ferocity and rage,
I still heard the luxurious texture that inhabited it

And it brought me happiness.

A happiness I had not felt since I last saw Him
The bane of my existence; my entity; my love
I couldn’t fight the voice, even when I knew I was dying;
It was too beautiful, and I was drowning.