Impossible

You make it impossible for me to be mad at.
I wanna be mad.
Completely mad, pissed off.
But yet.
You find a way, unintentionally, to make ME feel guilty about being upset.
I love you so much.
And sometimes, it kills me to do so.
You’re so far away, but within reach.
You’re so beautiful, so smart, so talented.
You make me the happiest girl in the world.
But the angriest, the saddest.
I want you around all the time.
I wanna be so fucking mad.
But I find myself being fucking sad.
You’re amazing, perfect.
Everything I want, love.
It’s not fair.
I can’t sleep without your voice being the last thing I hear.
I can’t think, going so long without talking to you.
I live to see the alert from AIM
Or the little LCD screen on my phone light up.
Just to hear your voice,
To hear a smile,
Hear a laugh.