Stifled

Here and then
Back again
Waiting on the change
As the world shifts
Around me
Again

Knowing reality
Along with the fear
Whispering
I’m not good enough
That this serenity
Won’t last
That it’ll end
And be my fault
Insecurity
Ready to steal
Breath from my body

Waiting for a hello
And yet
Bracing for goodbye
Knowing that the relief
Flooding from the warmth
Of a voice
Won’t last

That once the good times
Gone
Sitting at home again
Stability corroding
Like a rusty knife
Wondering if next time
Will be the last