Is A Promise Permanent?

Is A Promise Permanent?

If I whisper a secret,
You must never tell,
Of how I live
In a never-ending hell

It’s not physical,
My family’s just fine,
But oh, how it withers
And kills my mind

You see, I’m wheezing,
Drowning in my head,
I yearn for no heartbeat
To tell me I’m dead

Why do I think this?
Why am I alive?
I burn for a smile
And shun the knife

But I tell you now,
Because the hour’s late,
If I’m gone tomorrow
Don’t be irate

You’re my shoulder,
I don’t think you know,
Rather you see me smile
Than let the tears show

I repeat, repeat in my head,
I imagine you crying
At what I have said

But remember, you said you wouldn’t tell
Of my eternal burning hell,
And just know when I hug you,
I’m crying as well.