False schizophrenic

Colours flowing around, further
I’m alone in this room
I’m jumping and laughing
Words etching themselves
In this picture, a snapshot
Into my mind and skull
This time I was happy
I don’t know what’s real anymore
My smile, beauty is captured
These unfamiliar feelings
The essence of love is caught
I’ve never seen them before, I’m scared
My eyes slide to you
I’m alone, I’m by myself
I want to memorise your face
No one will love me, I’m a mess
Every aspect and curve
Uncontrolled emotions
This time I was happy
Savouring my tears
I knew how to laugh
These illusions and delusions
I remembered to smile
I don’t know what’s real anymore
My eyes reflecting skies
Real life, or fake life
Where my silver lining was
My smile is false
Because I knew how to love
My mind is false
My love was real
I am false