My Confession To You, I'm Sorry

Filled up inside
the words I strive to say
the feelings I hide
is kept till another day
It won’t disappear overnight

When you see me smile
Look upside down, see closer
I might be frowning.
When you see my eyes shine
Think opposite, ask harder
I might be crying.

I don’t expect you to understand
But just listen
I don’t need you to agree

The words I say
You just laugh
The things I say to you
You laugh it off
You’ll never understand what I’m feeling,
Its blissful ignorance

I get beaten at,
Because of a pointless family dispute
You get beaten at,
When you are having a playful fist fight

We are just different
You feel this way,
But I feel that way
And with all my heart, I would've given you
But I couldn't
And with all my heart, I should walk away
But I couldn’t
Have you heard of the word ‘guilt’?

Maybe I’m in this because I think I’m trying to quit
that feeling of love for someone else
before you came into my life

And I’m sorry
For your feeling towards me are being used
Because of my god forsaken unforgivable misery

What I'm doing is egotistical,
what you don’t know won’t hurt you

But to be honest it’s tearing me apart,
this was the scheme of trying to heal me right from the start,
Healing the broken me of that someone else
I know now,
And it’s failing

And I’m sorry
If I’m toying with your heart