Cold

Obsession and disgust rages through my veins
Self-hatred like ice
Slowly sliding down my face
Freezing my emotions
It is like the ocean
Huge and frigid
I am drowning
In loathing

I am terrified you will not
Be able to save me
From myself

I am terrified of what I will do
I need you
Wake me up
Release me from the
Frozen prison
Of my body

My hand is on the blade
The metal, so cold
Brushing my skin
Self-hatred, fear, regret
The blood is so warm
I want to dive into it
Vanish
Into the hot darkness

Will you be on the other side?
I am afraid to trust
In anything
I have been so hurt, so cold
But you are warm

Can you save me before
My crimson rain
Runs out?

I am so afraid
You will leave me
Forever
Alone
And cold