Lusting for an End

I sit here all by myself
With nothing to do, no where to run
I sit here under my shelf
All on my own, in my hand a gun

I take in my surroundings
This darkness has turned into a plague
The thoughts in my head are crowding
They move and sit at the edge

I hold up my arm and see the scars
And the streaks of crimson that run down my veins
My vision blurs as i stare into the stars
How can I go on living with all this pain?

I let you go
I let you down
I'm to blame
I miss you so

I'm sorry for what I've done
But my words will never reach
I can't wait for that wretched sun
I finally learned what u wanted to teach

I filled you with hope
and took it all away
And now I can't cope
Now I can no longer stay

I put you in that grave
I killed you slowly
But all along,
it was you i wanted to save

I would do anything
To go back and change this
Believe me my friend
Take away this painful bliss

I raise this gun
and put it to my brain
I see the face of the sun
This is what i crave

I'm coming to you
I see you at the end
Please don't be blue
Grasp onto my extended hand

We will forever be together
No longer to be apart
I'll be with you forever
Just like my promise from the start