I don't want to be here

I don't want to be here,
Next to the girl I don't know anymore,
Next to people who will disappear,
Next to people calling me whores,

I don't want to be here,
Below everyones expectations,
Below what I see in the mirror,
Below everyones exaggerations,

I don't want to be here,
Above conversation,
Above talking to my peers,
Above smiles animation,

I don't want to be here,
Far from my dreams,
Far from fear,
Far from being happy,

I don't want to be here,
So close to breaking his heart,
So close to tears,
So close to deaths mark,

I don't want to be here,
Dreaming of cheating,
Dreaming of no cheer,
Dreaming of bleeding,

I don't want to be here,
So why don't I leave,
Why isn't it clear,
Why is it me?