Hopeless

I fight … day after day,
For what?
I've loved and lost.

I can't fill this hole anymore,
I can't stop my tears from coming,
I never wanted to lose anyone,
Yet I've lost so many

I'm hopeless …
I can't kill these feelings,
I try so hard …
In the end all I can do is paint a smile on my face.

We've lost all freedom,
I live in fear … wondering,
Will this façade last another day?

I dread the day I lose it's shelter,
I will hurt, I will drown in pain,
I've already experienced that pain.

It shattered me … I'm afraid,
Yet, I'm suffocating under it's shelter,
I hang on to it with my last few breaths thinking … Maybe
Just maybe … I'll make it out alive.

Maybe someone will pull me out,
I hate it … Being dependent on someone,
But I've got no choice … I need someone.

Lonely … I'm ever so lonely,
Worried, Yes .. I'm sick with worry,
Yet, I'm hopelessly alone,
I've resigned … what else can I do?

I will never find that someone …