anchors form under my nails

have you ever
felt
like mechanical arms
were grabbing,
taking hold
of your rib
cage,
crushing each
bone
bit by bit
pulling every string
attaching your
lonesome,
shriveled heart
to your
body?

have you ever felt
that way?

have you ever
cried
under deep blue
skies,
leaving it all,
throwing it all,
tucking it all
away
in the brass
pocket chain
of your
headscarf?

have you ever hurt
yourself?
somebody
else?

slaughtered good,
resided in
luscious
lonesome
evil?

i have.